I am so embarrassed that folks noticed these pictures of me
DEAR HARRIETTE: I agreed to mannequin for my buddy, who’s an aspiring photographer. I trusted my buddy to share the photographs with me first earlier than placing them on social media, however he didn’t honor our settlement.
The images that he shared had been horrible. They weren’t even edited. Individuals from college, associates, household, and even full strangers have seen the photographs — all of which had been unflattering.
The expertise was so embarrassing that I needed I had by no means agreed to assist in the primary place. He ultimately took them down, however I needed to virtually plead with him to take away them.
Was I overreacting, or was he mistaken for posting with out letting me approve them first?
DEAR UNFLATTERING PICTURES: You weren’t mistaken to count on this photographer to honor his settlement. It appears like his thought of what’s flattering and yours are completely different. Sooner or later, you could wish to put your settlement in writing as to how images may be shared earlier than a single photograph is taken so that everybody is crystal clear about utilization.
Good for you that you simply pressed him to take them down till he relented. Make it clear to him that none of these photographs can be utilized once more. Ask to see the others to find out if something is salvageable.
Keep in mind that this particular person fancies himself an artist. He’s probably extraordinarily uncomfortable that you simply disliked his artwork so vehemently. Assist him to see if he can use something in any respect from the shoot, and inform him particularly what you suppose doesn’t work in regards to the photographs he initially posted.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Typically it looks like it doesn’t matter what I say or do, my buddy group at all times makes jokes at my expense.
Although I giggle alongside, it nonetheless feels just like the jokes are often pointed in my course. I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, nevertheless it’s tough for me to only sit there and take it.
Everybody at all times tells me to loosen up and calm down, however that’s getting more durable and more durable every time we meet up.
How can I cease this from taking place? What may I’ve finished to turn into the buddy within the group that everybody laughs at?
Butt of the Jokes
DEAR BUTT OF THE JOKES: Pal dynamics are among the many most puzzling, second solely to households.
If you end up a part of a buddy group, sadly there typically is one one who turns into the punching bag.
You might be proper to consider that the destructive habits demonstrated by the chums just isn’t at all times acutely aware or intentional. It typically turns into a knee-jerk expertise. One minute harmless banter is being volleyed about; the following, daggers appear to be tossed. You in all probability grew to become the punching bag since you didn’t cease it instantly the primary time somebody threw a jab.
Whatever the purpose, the way in which to get it to cease is to cease tolerating it. The following time somebody says one thing inappropriate about you or to you, name them on it and stroll away. Go away the group directly.
In the event that they proceed to barb at you if you rejoin, depart once more. Be ready to exit the group for good in the event that they don’t get the message. You should be handled higher. This may very well be an indication that it’s time so that you can make new associates.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You possibly can ship inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
Autor Harriette Cole